July 21, 2010 – Business etiquette is about presenting yourself with the kind of professionalism that shows you can be taken seriously. A basic knowledge and practice of etiquette will set you apart and give you a personal competitive advantage.

Who cares about proper etiquette?

Your clients, potential clients, and every other decision maker you meet. Business etiquette is about presenting yourself with the kind of professionalism that shows you can be taken seriously. People may feel that if you embarrass yourself in business and social situations, you lack the self-control necessary to be good at what you do. Most behavior that is perceived as discourteous can be avoided by practicing good manners. A basic knowledge and practice of etiquette will set you apart and give you a personal competitive advantage.

The phone as your personal first impression

Always answer your phone with some enthusiasm or at least warmth, even if you are being interrupted. The person on the other end doesn’t know that. Make sure your voice mail system is working properly and doesn’t tell the caller your mailbox is full, transfer them to nowhere, or allow your phone to ring indefinitely. Always return calls. Even if you don’t yet have an answer to the caller’s question, call and either explain what you’re doing to get the information, or direct them to the appropriate place to get it.

Email etiquette

When using email many people may communicate in a style that can appear abrupt, crass, and even rude. Take the time to personalize your email message using your contact software so the “To” line includes the person’s name, not just their email address. Make the “Subject” line specific. When replying to a question, copy only the question into your email, then provide your response. Address and sign your e-mails. Although this information is included in the “To” and “From” sections, this is still a written medium. Follow standard writing guidelines as a professional courtesy. Remember you’re communicating with a person, not a computer.

Appearance matters

Showing up unshaven, in wrinkled clothes, or just generally unkempt sends the message that you don’t care enough about the organization, people, or client to present yourself respectably. If in doubt, always err on the side of conservative. If you think jeans may be okay but aren’t sure, show up in ironed khakis and a nice shirt. If you think a situation may call for dress slacks, wear a dress shirt and tie. If you think that a suit may be called for, wear one. Women’s clothing is a bit more complicated, but again, err on the side of conservative and dressy. Always practice good personal grooming. Casual work environments are no excuse for sloppiness.

People skills

When you first meet someone, smile, make eye contact, and tell them your name. Extend your hand and repeat your first and last name. What if someone greets you using the wrong name? Extend your hand, repeat your correct name and say “It’s nice to see you.” When a partner from your firm enters the conference room where you're meeting with an important client, be sure you introduce the most important person first, i.e. introduce the client to the partner. Suppose you walk up to a group of four people at a legal seminar. Who do you make eye contact with? Each person to whom you speak directly.

Meal time

The fork goes on the left. The spoon and knife go on the right. Reach only for items in front of you, ask that other items be passed by a neighbor. Sit up straight. Pull your chair up to the table. Keep your elbows off the table. Rest your arms down at your sides. You may lean forward now and then as the conversation warrants but do not rest your elbows on the table. Don’t lean back in your chair. If you are called away from the meal once it has been served, leave your napkin gently folded on your chair. Do not put it on the table. If a toast is proposed in your honor, say “thank you” and raise your glass. Do not drink until others have taken a sip.

Passing food

Always pass food to the right, counter clockwise. The salt and pepper should be passed both together. Place them in front of the person next to you. That person will pass both to the person next to them and so on until they reach their destination. Do not pass hand to hand. Do not use before passing. With rolls or bread, offer the basket to the person next to you. They will choose and pass it on. You do not get to choose until it comes back around to you. For butter, take one pat and place it on your bread plate. Pass the butter on. Use only the butter you have taken for your bread. With salad dressing, pass the handle facing the other person so they can grasp it.

Creating a competitive advantage

People are a key factor to your professional success. The most important thing about proper etiquette is to be courteous and thoughtful to people around you. Talk and visit with people. Don’t differentiate by their position within an organization. Next time you need a document prepared or a conference room arranged for a presentation, watch how many people are involved with that process and make it a point to show them your appreciation. When you arrive for a meeting, introduce yourself to the other participants. It’s a good idea to remember what you can about people; and to be thoughtful. Send cards or letters for birthdays or congratulations for promotions, flowers for engagements and weddings or in condolence for the death of a family member. People will remember your kindness.

Proper business etiquette is about being comfortable around people and making them comfortable around you. As the comic Sam Levenson once observed, “It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.”

Michael Moore, Lewis and Clark 1983, is a professional coach for lawyers and the founder of Moore’s Law, Milwaukee. He specializes in marketing, client development, and leadership coaching for attorneys at all levels of experience. Moore also advises law firms on strategic planning and resource optimization. He has more than 25 years’ experience in private practice, as a general counsel, in law firm management, and in legal recruiting. For more information, visit www.moores-law.com. 

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