May 5, 2021 – As the saying goes, “no one can pour from an empty cup.”

“Taking time for yourself makes you more resilient in your work and in your personal life. By taking care of yourself, you allow the best version of you to show up for the things and people that you care about.”

These words of wisdom, from Milwaukee attorney Ashley Smith, underscore the need for lawyers to make sure they take time to relax and renew themselves.

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish. In fact, it is necessary. “When I am not taking care of myself or creating adequate time for myself to decompress, I do not have the energy to wear all of the hats that I wear or to be so many things to so many people,” Smith said.

“After expelling all my energy on work and being present with my loved ones, I can always feel when I am running on empty. That’s when I know I need to recharge and replenish,” said Chinoso Osuji of Milwaukee.

It is a good idea for lawyers to ask themselves, “Are you being mindful of your well-being?” said Jason Magill, State Bar of Wisconsin Lawyers Assistance Program (WisLAP) coordinator.

Wellness isn’t a one-time spa day or that annual vacation. Yes, there are times when work must come first, says Mary Spranger, WisLAP manager. There are many dimensions to self-care, she says – including physical and mental health, “as well as social, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual aspects.” Even a small moment can address this variety, to look out a window, listening to music, or doing something not related to work.

“What we suggest you consider, though, is that a lawyer’s needs can’t always come last,” says Magill.

“Think of yourself first,” advises Judge Todd Bjerke, La Crosse, chair of the State Bar of Wisconsin’s Lawyer Well-being Task Force. “Are you rested, in shape, and properly nourished to allow you to interact as necessary with your clients, the courts, your family, and your friends?”

Wisconsin lawyers find many different ways to take care of themselves – from taking simple breaks in their day to developing good habits that lead to better health. It’s such a necessary part of professional practice, in fact, that the Institute for Well-Being in Law has organized the Well-Being Week in Law – May 3 to May 7, 2021. This week is a chance for you to think about the best ways for you to refres​h and reset -- to reframe the way you see health and wellness in your life.

Be Gentle With Yourself

“It is important to remember that no one is perfect,” Smith said. “Sometimes I fall back into bad habits. In these moments, I try to remember to grant myself grace and remember that improving myself and my well-being is a process.”

“Start with a small goal and let it grow into a habit,” says Julie Spoke of Madison. “If you want to meditate, just do one to two minutes each day. If you want to go for a walk or run, try just 10 to 15 minutes. Once it becomes a habit, then you build on it.”

Short Breaks, with Variety

Work in several small breaks during your day. Get up and move. Take a quick walk. “Even a short break to grab a glass of water can often be enough to break up stress and provide a fresh perspective on my work,” says Evann Derus of Milwaukee.

Judge Bjerke takes a quick moment between hearings to attend to his physical health – which means getting up off the chair to walk around, “briskly if possible,” and doing some simple stretches.

During a work day, Osuji takes a moment to change her view while working at her desk. “This can be as simple as turning away from my computer and facing a window.”

Jaclyn McCaffery of Madison takes a short break during lunchtime “where I stop and do something non-work related or just listen to a favorite song. I find that even this small amount of time away from work makes it easier for me to focus for the remainder of the day – a sort of mini reset.”

Or try a short meditation using a phone app. “The Peloton and Calm apps are great for this purpose,” Derus said.

Bria Kelley of Boca Raton, Florida, starts her day with meditation and stretching. “I turn on some meditation music and do a quick, easy stretch for about 10 minutes before I start work. It's a very small practice and doesn't take up much time, and can truthfully be done at any point in your day,” she said. “It wakes up my body and mind, and allows me to start my day with peace before anything hectic gets in the way.”

The Weekend Unwind

Derus takes time on weekends to work out with her husband. “It gives us an opportunity to reconnect, which is especially appreciated after busy weeks.”

Weekday evenings and weekends allow time to unwind with family, friends, and activities away from work.

Alexander Lodge of Chicago connects with his “relatively big extended family,” which includes video calls and dinners. “My family helps ground me, and they are always finding ways to make me smile and destress from a long workday.”

Kelsey Schanke, Milwaukee, takes a weekly horse jumping class. An equestrian growing up, jumping is a new discipline that offers her both mental and physical challenges. “I dedicate this time to enjoy being outside, meeting new people, and learning a new skill,” Schanke said. “Even on the toughest days, I always leave the barn happier and less stressed resulting in a better mood throughout the week. It has certainly impacted my overall wellness positively.”

In Flemington, New Jersey, Emily Kelchen and her husband watch or listen to baseball to unwind. She also makes it a priority to get outside at least some point in the day. “When you are working from home, it is easy to go a few days in a row without leaving the house if you don’t make it a priority. Getting some fresh air puts me in a better mood, even if all I do is walk to the post office.”

Madison attorney Sam Wayne took up chess again after a 25-year hiatus. “Yes, it was because we watched "The Queen's Gambit." There's so much depth to the game, and I have so much to learn after years away from it,” he said. “It's also been a great competitive outlet to focus on while I wait for the warm weather, and with it the promise of outdoor fun and games.”

In Green Bay, Shari Lynn Stevens Vannieuwenhoven takes her family camping on weekends to unwind. “My family and I love to explore nature, take walks, go camping and play board games. Occasionally, I will take my daughter on pampering dates (such as manicures) to relax and connect with each other.”

Jennifer Geller Baumann of Milwaukee also uses time outdoors to unwind. “I kayak a lot on Lower and Upper Nemahbin lakes” in Waukesha County.

Milwaukee attorney Krista LaFave has a list of small daily actions that have improved her overall wellness, especially during this challenging year. “I distilled them into small, bite-sized activities, like having a clean sink, meditating, reading a few chapters in a book just for fun, listening to one of my favorite podcasts, having my daughter’s toys put away.

“On a stressful day, it can be hard to be motivated to do much after the workday ends,” says LaFave. But on those days, she makes a promise to herself to do three things on this list that bring her joy. “When I follow through on that activity, not only do I get that joyful moment, but I also get the joy of fulfilling a commitment to myself.”

The COVID Break

For many lawyers, the past year has meant that home is also office space, making it difficult to separate work from home life. The challenges of a year-plus pandemic also means finding ways to safely take the time needed for self-care.

Schanke separates work from home by stepping away from her computer for short walks, and making sure to eat dinner away from her at-home work space. “Setting this boundary gives me an activity to look forward to at the end of each day. If I have to log back on, it gives me clarity and focus to finish evening tasks.”

When the shutdown came suddenly last March, Dereya Pederson of Milwaukee says, “it was a flashing sign to slow down. My revolutionary idea was to do absolutely nothing! I think far too often we go-go-go, but there’s simple joy in stopping to smell the roses.”

“I took each day as it came and, very naturally, I rediscovered old interests and discovered a few new ones. My children and I found cool science experiments to try, had dance parties, painted, did yoga, and read/listened to numerous books. Overall, it gave me the perspective that health is wealth and that time spent with family is truly priceless,” Pederson said.

In 2020, I started blocking off early morning time on my calendar, says Emily Stedman of Milwaukee. “This secures my self-care time and makes it sacred. During this block, I meditate, read for fun, attend some self-care/self-development classes, plan my day, eat breakfast, catch up on emails, do chores, etc. I try to keep ‘billables’ out of this block as much as possible.”

Sir Williams of Chicago has found a creative way to stay connected with family during the pandemic: “I've taken a deep dive into family genealogy research. It's provided an amazing way to use stories from our shared ancestral past to presently engage for the benefit of future generations. The experience has brought my family closer despite the isolating experiences of the pandemic.”

Take the First Steps

Self-care refers to the steps you can take to create a life for yourself that you don’t need to escape from. Like many journeys, it can begin small, says Spranger.

Start with the basics, says Emily Castro of Milwaukee. "Make sure you’re sleeping, eating, walking around, bathing, etc. Just do a little better than you were before, like getting a little more sleep. You'll soon see the improvement, and then continue taking those small steps forward. Just like law, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. "

“If you're just getting started, pick one thing, start small, and become consistent with this weekly or daily,” says Kelly. It doesn’t matter what. “It's important to be consistent with whatever works best for you, and I guarantee you'll see results.”